BEAUTY pundits often extol the merits of water. They banter on about the bland stuff, hyping it up to be the ultimate elixir of youth.
I’m not a great water drinker, myself. Hence, I’ve always been ugly. And, since I’ve given up smoking, I’m not a great fan of anything liquid.
Whereas once I’d have a glass of Merlot in one hand and a cancer stick in the other, these days I struggle to swallow sips of coffee.
You see, I’ve gone off fluids. I can’t gulp them down like I used to.
Whatever passes my lips is preferably solid. Stuff that’s sweet, packed full of calories and guaranteed to bring me out in spots – that’s what I like.
Yes, I know, it’s all terribly bad for one’s waistline and complexion. What the hell, after 21 years of being a smoker, my hairline wrinkles are bound to develop into cracks of earthquake proportions. In fact, I bet my face will resemble the Grand Canyon, or a walnut at the very least, in no time – especially as I’m not a plain water drinker.
What can a girl drink instead?
I don’t fancy a pro-biotic tipple. Yuck! The thought of swallowing yoghurt like a can of Stella churns my stomach.
They may be trendy, but I’m not that struck on Smoothies either.
I’ll just have to stick with cola, the old faithful. If ever I’m feeling ‘good’, maybe I’ll stretch to a diet version of the stuff.
My enthusiasm for typing any more today has suddenly fizzled out….