Smoke Stop

Day 29 - 2pm

I CAN'T imagine myself as a smoker. Although I was a heavy smoker just a month ago, the habit is a rapidly fading memory.

Today, when I was buying a chicken and mayo baguette and an iced bun in a baker's, I saw a lady I've known all my life. My abiding memory of her, as I was growing up, was of her walking down the garden path with a cigarette in her mouth. After choosing the baguette, I was stalling over 'seconds'. There was so much to pick from and, in all honesty, did I really need a cake? I was just telling myself that a raw carrot would be better for me - and cheaper - when I blurted out: "You can tell I've given up smoking!"

The lady replied: "I know, I've been reading all about it." She said she is in the process of preparing to totally quit. She says she's been trying. I hope she makes it. What an achievement it would be, after all those years of being a smoker.

I do, sometimes, feel that there's something missing in my life. Occasionally, I catch myself almost at a loss for something to do - even though I've got loads to do. It's like I'm looking for something to plug a gap in between tasks.

It was only after I gave up smoking that I realised I had been living my life in bite-size stages. It dawned on me when I came through the front door at the end of my first day as a non-smoker. I had shopping. I realised that I was accustomed to smoking a cigarette immediately. I'd then unpack the shopping and, afterwards, light another cigarette. I probably wouldn't even take my coat off until I was on a third cigarette. It was as though I was marking the start and finish of individual tasks; like I couldn't get anything done without a surge of nicotine.

All in all, I've realised how much time I WASTED standing around stinking the place out with smoke and damaging my health. Smoking is a time waster, all round!

Wear your patch with pride!