Baby Blog

Bump

ACCORDING to my husband I have an alien growing inside me – he reached this conclusion after a highly scientific test during which he communicated with my unborn baby (or extra-terrestrial life form).

The test, for anyone else with a bulging belly curious about the cause, went something like this…

Steve: "Now listen baby – we need some information. Give me one kick if you’re a girl, two if you’re a boy. No kicks will be taken to mean you are neither… and are probably an alien."

Predictably, as seems to happen whenever Steve tries to feel a kick, there was no response from the bump. Obviously an alien.

Well, whatever it is, we are now in week 26 and it has definitely discovered that it can move. Infact, I think it is a dancer. I can feel twists, twirls and definitely some high kicks – maybe it is has been influenced by the TV trailers for the new Strictly Come Dancing series. It is hard to concentrate at work when, all of a sudden, you feel your new life form practising disco moves inside you.

Next week we (me, Steve and bump) start ante natal classes, which should be fun (if a little scary). Steve is under strict instructions not to mention aliens, let’s give ourselves a chance with these people, let them at least think we are normal.

A couple of months ago I felt very bitter about the glowing pregnant women who seemed to be every where I went, claiming they had never felt better, had bags of energy and what a joy it was to be expecting. Hormonal changes must have turned them into compulsive liars, I decided.

But I am now eating my words (along with anything remotely edible I come across). The second trimester is soooo much easier than the first. The feeling of permanent exhaustion has passed, the queasiness has vanished and my energy levels sometimes seem higher than pre-pregnancy! I have turned into one of the irritating smug ones.

For now (mustn’t be complacent - I am always anticipating the next step) life is good. The fact that Steve and I are living in a pokey one-bed annexe while renovating a house (which will hopefully be ready before the bump is) now seems bearable, living without a washing machine, phone and kitchen is back (as it was pre-pregnancy) to being an adventure and thinking about the next few months provokes excitement, not tears (all blamed on hormones of course) and panic.

I even feel up to attempting some exercise, for the first time in months, and might give my very attractive maternity swimming costume a test run over the weekend – bump could modify its dance moves into some kind of synchronised swimming routine. Not sure how swimming with a pot belly will feel, or whether the extra weight will affect the way I float in the water and make me roll about so that I always end up face down. Hmmm, only one way to find out…..